The Act of Saying No

If you’re a people pleaser, raise your hand! If you have to think about it, go on and raise it up!

I have to admit I’m quite an outgoing person. I’ve always told myself I’m more introverted than anything, but truth is I enjoy having a good time. When I commit to a day, a night out, an event, an occasion, a project, I mean it, and if you ever see me bailing, well, it’s for very valid reasons.

Although, I almost seemingly catch myself in this act all the dang time: I overcommit. Yup, I’m a sucker for it. I say yes, and I say it a LOT. I fill up my cup, but before you know it, I catch myself scrambling. For time and energy.

I’m still exploring why I sometimes find myself scheduling out an entire day without taking a break for air. Am I one who truly enjoys being around others all the time, fueling my soul with meaningful connections, or do I just dislike the feeling of rejection and uncertainly on what others might think? I’ll go ahead and say it’s a bit of both.

In all truth, we all need a fair amount of time spent with our self, our person. Without it, it’s hard to figure out what we need as individuals, especially when we’re constantly making plans with others, as there’s no real room to think what’s in our best interest. For these reasons, I’m learning to say no more than ever, not that I always want to, but because every part of my being deserves a break, and then some.

But if I say no, well what else am I going to do then? Although it comes across as a bit daunting, this is where creativity begins. This is where hobbies are made. Interests are born. Money can be saved. Past traumas and emotions can be worked on – as being a people pleaser usually dates back to childhood. Until we resolve our people pleasing tendencies, we’ll never feel as though our cup is filled for the right reasons. This is the act of creating boundaries and inserting personal development.

But seriously, stop and think about it! What do you compulsively agree to? The act of declining not only applies to what we do in our free time, but to other factors like our jobs and careers. Are you imagining the worst if you actually said the word “no” to your boss?

As always, I’m still growing and evolving, reclaiming my time and mental wellbeing. I’m trusting my intuition more. I’m learning to think before I speak those three letters that inherently spew from my mouth. I’ve always enjoyed being the “yes girl”, but this girl also deserves her time to herself, and a little “no” won’t hurt anyone. And if they take offense to that, well, that’s on them.

How will you start expressing yourself more, for your better? If you say no, what more can you say yes to?

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